For Sure Page 8

  “Quand c’est qu’a t’a dit ça ?”

  (When is it she tol’ you dat?)

  “Ajeuve, quante que je passais en avant de chuseux.”

  (A while ago, whiles I was passin’ by dat fella’s house.)

  “Pis, quantaisse qu’y faut que tu donnes ta réponse ?”

  (Well den, when’s it yer s’posed to give ’em yer answer?)

  “Mèque la lôde arrive. Par ce temps-là on saura si on ‘n aura besoin de plusse ou pas.”

  (’bout de time de load comes in. By den we’ll knows wedder we needs more or we doesn’t.)

  “Y as-tu dit que ça se pouvait qu’on n’aurait pas même besoin de toute une lôde?”

  (An’ did you tell ’er could be, we won’t be needin’ a whole load?)

  “Oui. Alle a juste dit d’y dire ãs sõon qu’on pouvait.”

  (I did. She only said to tell her aussitôt we knows.)

  182.30.11

  Chiac

  P is the only letter that can equal the letters a, b, and c when it comes to the number of times they appear as the first letter of a real colour in pourpre.com’s chromatic dictionary. P is the first letter of 28 colours, 5 less than a, but 2 more than b. Together the four letters, a, b, c, and p, which constitute 15 percent of the alphabet, are the first letters of 48 percent — might as well say half — of the 281 names of colours in the above mentioned dictionary.

  Similarly, in Wikipedia’s list of 869 English colours, the c, p, d, and b lead the way in the number of colours of which they are the first letter. P is the first letter of 90 colours, 1 less than c, and 15 more than d. Together these four letters, c, p, d, and b, which constitute 15 percent of the alphabet, are the first letters of 37.9 percent — more than a third, but less than half — of the 869 colours listed on Wikipedia.com. A is a distant tenth, being the first letter of only 36 names of colours, or 4.1 percent.

  183.3.9

  Statistics

  One evening, while reading a passage from Alphonse Daudet’s Letters from My Windmill to Étienne, Terry came upon the word rouf signifying a small cabin on a boat, which Terry imagined resembled a lobster fishing boat. The word surprised him, but he read on. Two sentences further, Étienne interrupted:

  “Dad, I don’t understan’.”

  “What is it you don’ unnerstan’?”

  “De words.”

  Terry reread the passage silently, and realized that indeed the boy could easily feel lost in this universe at once familiar and yet unknown. He started over then, adapting a bit as he read.

  “Dat schooner dey called Miss Emilie, from Cap-Pelé, was old and creakin’ all over when I come aboard. Der was only a wee rouf to keep out o’ de rain and wind and waves, a wee rouf wid two cots an’ a table. We was on our way to Cocagne. De fishermen’s faces was all wet, dat rain was beatin’ down so hard . . .”

  “Ya, Dad. Dat’s a whole lot better.”

  184.20.4

  Language

  Since an alphabetical count of the French chromatic dictionary at pourpre.com yields 281 names of colours, it would be logical to assume that each of the 26 letters of the alphabet would begin, on average, 11 names of colours. But on that score, aside from the letters a, b, c, and p, only the m and the s score well above the average; they are the first letter respectively for 21 and 18 names of colours. The f is slightly above the average, beginning 14 names of colours. The letters e, g, i, o, t, and v lead within the average, while l, n, and r are far below average with only 6 or 7 names to their credit. D, h, j, k, q, and z are the first letter in 1, 2 or 3 names of colours, whereas u, w, x, and y are completely absent from this alphabetical order.

  On Wikipedia’s English list of 869 colours, one might expect, on average, each letter of the alphabet to begin the names of slightly more than 33 colours. Along with c, p, d, and b, m, r, l, s, and t also come in above the average. A, f, and g are around the average, while o, u, e, i, v, h, w, and n are first in between 25 to 11 names of colours. J and y are first in eight names, k in 5, and z in 2. Q and x are the first letter in one name each.

  185.3.10

  Statistics

  “De udder day, ee tells me de last tree months have been sometin’ of a trial.”

  . . .

  “When ee opens up like dat, I sees just how many different me’s der are in ’im, and a whole lot of different hims in me.”

  . . .

  186.15.4

  Unidentified Monologues

  “Come ta tink of it, a bit of psychoanalysis might do me good as well. Dese days, I’m seein’ double meanings even in Scrabble.”

  First irritant: a novel with (too) many numbers.

  187.89.1

  Irritants

  La Bibliothèque idéale lay open on the counter while Terry revised his order for Raymond Queneau’s Exercises in Style. He was suddenly curious to see what category in the book preceded “Distortions.” His search led him to “Literature in Pieces,” which confirmed the logic of the book. Scanning quickly down the list of texts said to be in pieces, his eye fell on the following excerpt from Emil Cioran’s Précis de décomposition (A Short History of Decay): “In every man a prophet sleeps and, when he awakens, there is a little more evil in the world,” a phrase that tweaked his heart and mind. He placed the thin white ribbon attached to the headband of the book on that page, with the intention of returning to it tomorrow. Then he closed up shop, because Ludmilla, who usually did this, had taken off early to go to the dentist.

  188.8.12

  Didot Books

  On a U.S. letter-sized sheet of white paper, a list of all the golf courses in New Brunswick. A footnote at the bottom of the page preceeded by an asterisk notes that the Atlantic provinces boast the highest per capita number of golf courses in Canada. This tidbit of information is clearly gratis, since there is no corresponding asterisk to be found anywhere on the page.

  189.57.4

  Photocopies

  After the joyful distraction that the colour of vowels test had created in the Babar, Le Grand Étienne thought he’d try the exercise with his student.

  “A test?”

  Le Petit Étienne had not forgotten the X-3X-X3-X test and Souricette’s unfortunate end.

  “Oh, nothing very difficult, it’s just for fun.”

  The boy gave a slight nod of the head.

  “If I say the word banana, do you see a colour?”

  Étienne answered with a laugh, as though the answer was obvious and the test wasn’t really a test at all:

  “Yellow.”

  Le Grand Étienne realized that this test contained traps one would do well to avoid. He took a moment to think it through and decided to stick to words referring to abstract realities.

  “And if I say the word ‘avatar’?”

  The little one hesitated.

  “Do you know what an avatar is?”

  The boy did not dare reply.

  “Do you see a colour, anyway?”

  Le Petit Étienne was a bit confused because he was still seeing yellow, which seemed somehow suspicious. He replied with a question:

  “Yellow?”

  Proud of the child’s perspicacity, Le Grand Étienne resolved to look for words whose meanings the child did not know.

  “An avatar is someone who is not real. A kind of ghost. You understand?”

  Le Petit Étienne nodded yes.

  “Do you know anyone like that?”

  Le Petit Étienne thought for a moment, then shook his head no.

  “Good.”

  190.14.1

  Zablonski

  And why not numbers? Don’t they constitute a form of thought? A kind of writing? Are they not evidence of laws as inescapable as they are recurrent? Consider the following operations,
taking into account the fact that the numeral 3 represents the masculine principal and 4 the feminine:

  a) 1,728 ÷ 3 = 576

  576 ÷ 12 = 48

  b) 1,728 ÷ 4 = 432

  432 ÷ 12 = 36

  c) 48 × 36 = 1,728

  Elementary, I admit. But the question remains: up to what point to open up (oneself)?

  191.12.6

  Structure

  Le Petit Étienne was remembering Souricette, trying to feel if there was something unusual happening inside himself.

  “What about the word tumult? Mean anything to you?”

  No, nothing about this test worried him.

  “No.”

  “And do you see a colour?”

  “Blue.”

  Le Grand Étienne was writing it all down as they proceeded.

  “And what shade of blue? Pale? Dark?”

  Le Petit Étienne rocked his head back and forth.

  The master got up to fetch the chart they’d been looking at earlier, and opened it up in front of his pupil.

  “Do you see a blue in here that looks like the blue of tumult?”

  Le Petit Étienne hesitated between Gobelin (no. 1910), China (no. 1903), old blue (no. 2012), and marjoram (no. 2052), all of which were more or less dark and edging toward purple or black. In the end he pointed to marjoram. Le Grand Étienne wrote the result down on his sheet of paper.

  “Tumult means disorderly, maybe even loud. you know?”

  Étienne nodded yes immediately, because that was easy to understand.

  192.14.2

  Zablonski

  Coincidence? The fact that Firmin Didot (1764–1836), born into the long line of Didots, and responsible for the transformation of typeface engraving and casting, started out as a statistician before becoming a publisher of books containing lists.

  193.17.6

  Chance

  The grand surprise finale for this family with a singing dad took place on the beach one splendid Sunday in August. Terry and Carmen had discovered this tiny but completely deserted beach — incredible! — and they went there whenever they felt the need to be alone, with or without the children. Life in the lofts offered numerous advantages, but there was also a good deal of toing and froing and brouhaha, which made the little beach a secret treasure, which they were careful not to talk about for fear of losing it. In the late afternoon, once the kids had tired themselves out running and playing, so that they were content to sit and have a bite — a slice of cheese for Marianne, a peach for Étienne — Terry suddenly announced that he’d learned a fifth Aragon song, which he was dedicating to the three of them. And without further ado, he launched into “Je t’aime tant” (“I Love You So Much”), as though he were simply completing his sentence. Carmen, Étienne and Marianne quickly realized that the song, which was about the sea and wind and daydreams and the colour blue, suited the occasion perfectly. At the end, all three felt so united and so unique in Terry’s repeated “I love you so much” that . . . that . . .

  “Dad! Will you always love us too much?”

  194.1.11

  Chansons

  But isn’t the cube the perfect incarnation of rigidity? How could life — since a novel claims to invoke life — flow within such a strictly defined structure, so neat and orderly, so inorganic?

  195.12.7

  Structure

  L’Officiel du jeu Scrabble® lists 257 French words beginning with a and containing at least one y. The list does not include the various possible forms these words can take (feminine, plural, conjugated). Here then is the list: abbaye, aboyer, aboyeur, abyme, abyssal, abysse, abyssin, abyssinien, abzyme, acétaldéhyde, acétylcellulose, acétylcholine, acétyle, acétylène, acétylénique, acétylure, achylie, acolytat, acolyte, acotylédone, acrodynie, acronyme, acrylique, acrylonitrile, actinomycète, actinomycose, actinoptérygien, acyclique, acylation, acyle, adipocyte, adipolyse, adrénolytique, adynamie, adynamique, adyton, aegyrine, aepyornis, aérodynamique, aérodynamisme, aérodyne, aglycone, aglyphe, agranulocytose, aisy, alcoylation, alcoyle, alcyne, alcyon, alcyonaire, alcyonien, aldéhyde, aldéhydique, alexithymie, alicyclique, alkylation, alkyle, allyle, alkylène, allylique, aloyau, alysse, alysson, alyssum, alyte, amarayeur, amaryllidacée, amaryllis, amblyope, amblyopie, amblyoscope, amblyrhynque, amblystome, ambystome, améthyste, amidopyrine, aminophylline, ammodyte, amphictyon, amphictyonie, amphyctyomique, amphitryon, ampholyte, amygdale, amygdalectomie, amydaline, amygdalite, amygdaloïde, amygdalotome, amylacé, amylase, amyle, amylène, amylique, amylobacter, amyloïde, amylose, amyotrophie, anacyclique, anaglyphe, anaglypte, anaglyptique, analycité, analysable, analysant, analyse, analyser, analyseur, analyste, analyticité, analytique, analytiquement, anaphylactique, anaphylaxie, anastylose, anchoyade, androgyne, androgynie, anévrysme, anévrysmal, anhydre, anhydride, anhydrite, anhydrobiose, anhypothétique, ankylosant, ankylosaure, ankylose, ankyloser, ankylostome, ankylostomiase, anonymat, anonyme, anonymement, anonymographe, antéhypophyse, anthroponyme, anthroponymie, anthyllide, anthyllis, anticyclique, anticyclonal, anticyclone, anticyclonique, antienzyme, antihygiénique, antimycosique, antimycotique, antioxydant, antipsychiatre, antipsychiatrie, antipsychotique, antipyrétique, antipyrine, antisymétrique, antisyndical, antithyroïdien, antitrypsine, antonyme, antonymie, anxiolytique, aphylle, apitoyer, apocalypse, apocalyptique, apocryphe, apocynacée, apoenzyme, apophysaire, apophyse, appuyer, appuyoir, aptérygote, aptéryx, apyre, apyrétique, apyrexie, apyrogène, aquagym, archéoptéryx, archétypal, archétype, archétypique, archichlamydée, aréostyle, argyraspide, argyrie, argyrisme, argyrol, argyromète, argyrose, arroyo, arthrogrypose, artiodactyle, aryen, arylamine, aryle, aryténoïde, aryténoïdien, arythmie, arythmique, ascomycète, asphyxiant, asphyxie, asphyxique, assyrien, assyriologie, assyriologue, astrophysicien, astrophysique, asymbolie, asymétrie, asymétrique, asymptomatique, asymptote, asymptotique, asynartète, asynchrone, asynchronisme, asyndète, asynergie, asystole, asystolie, atermoyer, athymhormie, athymie, athymique, athyroïdie, atmolyse, atractyligénine, attorney, attrayant, atypie, atypique, atypisme, auréomycine, autoanalyse, autocatalyse, autolysat, autolyse, autonettoyant, autonyme, autonymie, autonymique, aveyronnais, aveyronnaise, avoyer, axisymétrique, ay, ayant, ayatollah, aymara, ayuntamiento, azidothymidine, azothydrique, azotyle, azygos, et azyme.

  The Official Scrabble Players Dictionary® or OSPD lists 314 English words (56 more than the French L’Officiel du jeu Scrabble®) beginning with the letter a and containing at least one y, not including the various possible forms these words can take. The list is as follows: abasedly, abaya, abbacy, abbey, abbotcy, abeyance, abhenry, ability, abjectly, ably, abruptly, absently, aby, abyss, academy, accuracy, acerbity, acetify, acetoxyl, acetyl, achingly, achy, acidify, acidity, acidly, acidy, acolyte, acridity, acrimony, acronym, acrylate, acrylic, activity, actorly, actressy, actually, actuary, acuity, acutely, acyclic, acyl, acylate, acyloin, adamancy, addedly, additory, adenyl, adequacy, adroitly, adultery, adultly, advocacy, adynamia, adytum, aerially, aerify, aerily, aerology, aeronomy, airy, aery , affably, affinely, affinity, affray, agedly, agency, agentry, agility, agly, aglycon, agony, agouty, agrimony, agrology, agronomy, agrypnia, aguishly, ahoy, aimfully, airplay, airway, airy, aisleway, alacrity, alanyl, alary, alcayde, alchemy, aldehyde, alderfly, aleatory, alertly, algidity, algology, alienly, alimony, aliya, alkalify, alkoxy, alky, alkyd, alkyl, alkyne, allay, allegory, allergy, alley, alleyway, allogamy, allonym, allotype, alloy, ally, almighty, almondy, almonry, aloofly, alphyl, alpinely, already, alterity, always, alyssum, amatory, amazedly, ambary, amboyna, ambry, amenity, amethyst, amiably, amicably, aminity, amity, ammonify, amnesty, amplify, amygdala, amygdale, amygdule, amyl, amylase, amylene, amylogen, amyloid, amylose, amylum, anaglyph, anagogy, anality, analogy, analyze , analysis, analyte, anarchy, anatomy, ancestry, anchovy, andesyte , anergy, aneurysm, angary, angry, anility, animacy
, animally, ankylose, annoy, annually, annuity, anodyne, anolyte, anomaly, anomy, anonym, anorexy, antetype, antibody, anticity, anticly, antigay, antilogy, antimony, antinomy, antipyic, antitype, antonym, antsy, anxiety, any, anybody, anyhow, anymore, anyon, anyone, anyplace, anything, anytime, anyway, anywhere, apathy, apery, apetaly, aphylly, apiary, apically, apiology, apishly, aplenty, apocarpy, apogamy, apology, apophony, apophyge, apoplexy, apospory, apostasy, apply, apteryx, aptly, apyrase, apyretic, archery, archly, archway, ardency, ardently, areally, areaway, areology, argosy, argufy, argyle, ariary, aridity, armory, army, armyworm, aroynt, arrantly, array, arrowy, arroyo, artery, artfully, artily, artistry, artsy, aryl, arythmia, ashy, ashtray, asphyxia, assay, assembly, astheny, astony, astrally, astray, astutely, astylar, asylum, asyndeta, atalaya, ataraxy, ataxy, atemoya, athanasy, athodyd, atomy, atony, atopy, atrocity, atrophy, attorney, atypical, audacity, audibly, auditory, augustly, auntly, aunty, aurality, autarchy, autarky, autodyne, autogyro, autolyze, autonomy, autonym, autopsy, autotomy, autotype, aversely, aviary, avidity, avidly, avowedly, away, awayness, aweary, awfully, awny, awry, axiality, axillary, axiology, ay, ayah, aye, ayin, ayurveda, azygos.

  196.21.5

  More or Less Useful Details

  Flattened against the glass platen, pages 14 and 15 of the paperback edition of Jean-Paul Sartre’s Les Mots (Words). A series of dizzying flashes (brought on especially by the punctuation) lead to my overheating. But I get a grip and, after a bit of coughing, I finally manage to expel the copy with my customary elegance.

  197.57.1

  Photocopies

  198.104.3

  Worries

  “I said person, not poison.”

  “Awh.”

  Don’t the little cubes along the edges serve a double function?

  199.141.6